The Castle

Self-Sufficient

illustration by Russ Rodman

“Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3)

Hard stone walls, rough against my skin, tower above me, high and alone on the hill top, haughtily overlooking the busy neighbours greeting each other in the market place below. These domineering castle towers are strong to keep out intruders; the arrow slits are manned with archers ready to attack any who dare to approach.

My heart is like that castle. My guard is up. My self-sufficiency is my pride. I need no man by my side. My position is attack. My armour has no crack. I accept nothing. I owe nothing. I am rich in myself and need no one else.

But my castle walls hide a soul that is pitifully poor. I must protect the poverty of my spirit from outsiders; withdraw from sight, back into my castle with the drawbridge raised. My riches are inadequate, fed by fear and useless activity. I guard my empty, lonely heart.

Jesus says, “Come out of that prison that you put yourself in. You know your spirit is thirsty for life. You’re so tired of the effort to maintain this strife. Drink deeply from my bottomless well of fresh, clear water.” He invites me to leave the cold walls and cross the moat. “Toss your boots aside,” He smiles, “and wiggle your toes in my lush, green grass. See the white daisy-stars and blue harebells I made for you. Feel the breath of my Spirit in the breeze; let it dispel your fears; let it ease away your resentment, your criticism, your cynicism, your shame and hurt pride. Let my Spirit fill you and preserve you from evil, releasing you to stand tall. Let go of your will, let the castle crumble. Your heart is safe with Me and no one can measure my peace.

My rules crippled me; my iron will ruled me. Now I choose to dwell under the sovereignty of the One whose truth has the right to dominate me and in that domination I find an inexplicable freedom.

A Message from the high and towering God, who lives in Eternity, whose name is Holy:

“I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed, And what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again. Isaiah 57:15 (The Message Bible)

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